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mind set: it’s just playing the piano…
August 17, 2008I never really like accounting. In the first place, i never like numbers! I don’t want to enslave myself with gazillions of numbers! Ugh. I hate it when it is already our accounting class. It’s like almost 3 hell hours! Oh Jesus, how did I manage to survive my past accounting subjects! Ugh. I’m tired of it! I dont want to study all of those nonsense craps! *sigh
What am i doing every night. I’m escaping my sleeps and dreams just to make myself understand how cash and other non cash assets are taken in to consideration in accounting purposes, what certain principle is needed for a certain problem, what are you going to do if investments were made… Ugh. I’d rather go to Australia and be a fruit- picker, or be a beggar in the streets of Italy. Id rather be a street- painter in Rome, or be a tourist guide in Singapore. I’d rather be a photographer in Baguio or just be a plain piano virtuoso in every malls… I’d rather be any of those than to lock myself in the world of numbers and concrete figures.
The hell i care if the company decides not to terminate its business operations. I dont care if the company would get bankrupt or if they discontinue their busines operations. Duh. I won’t inherit their pots of gold, anyway. Ugh. I can’t imagine my future with my mother’s chosen career for me. Though ,I could, SOMEHOW, get into the picture of accountancy, still, I don’t want to. It’s really not my thing. (yah know, i want to be known in the field of arts)
But… On the contrary, I don’t want to frustrate my mother. I don’t want to be a prodigal daughter… I want my mother to be proud of me…that’s the core reason why I am still in this hellish course. But… but… I am already tired… I really can’t enjoy being with the subject. Three hours with it could take away all the bloods in me. Even mind setting doesn’t work with me, though i keep on telling my mind and myself that I LOVE accounting…still, i could not instill in my head that i love it. But im not yet losing hope. I’ll give myself a chance. I should learn to love my soon-to-be long- life practice, NOW.
I should learn to enjoy studying it just like how i enjoy doodling and scribbling… I should enjoy it the way I enjoy playing the piano… and someday, i’ll say to myself that accounting is just merely playing the piano. You should learn it by heart without hesitation, and fully accept it. Maybe i’ll just imagine my calculator as the piano, and the numbers are chords… while the problems and the whole theories are the music piece itself. I need to control my mind. i’ll just love the whole thing, then poof! I am already addicted to accounting… Yeah! I hope so.
No one said that my (mother’s) chosen profession (for me) is easy. Learn to enjoy it… it’s just playing the piano. You may find it difficult at first and could barely hear the music…but as you learn it by heart, all seems to be as easy as A-B-C.
I hope i could make it… *sighs
LUCKY?
August 16, 2008“You are lucky,
I mean, the luckiest person in the world
when the one you love decides to love you back. “
-One Tree Hill
STALKER.
August 10, 2008If i could rename stalker, then it would be sky.
Noong bata pa lang ako, mahilig na akong tumingala sa langit. Hindi iniinda ang sinag ng araw, Manghang- mangha ako sa dulot na kahiwagaan ng kaulapan. Sabi ng nanay ko, lahat daw ng mga namatay na tao, gaya ng lolo ko ay pinapanood at binabantayan ang kanilang mga apo para ilayo sa kapahamakan. Parang guardian angel daw, kaso lang, hanggang tingin lang sila. Hidi nila kayang bumaba sa lupa kasi makukuryente sila pag sinubukan nila.
Masarap titigan ang langit. Masarap obserbahan. Tanong ko noon, bakit hindi nawawala ang langit. At tska bakit parang sinusundan ako…pumasok na nga ako sa loob ng bahay, nandun pa rin siya naghihintay para ako ay lumabas at tingnan ulit siya. Parang nangungulit na kalaro. Nakakatuwa. Parang sa bawat galaw ko ay nariyan siya upang ako ay bantayan. Hindi niya ako tatantanan kahit saan man ako magpunta. Siya ang aking dakilang tagasunod– ang aking tagabantay. Kung magkakaroon nga lang ng award, eh i-nonominate ko ang langit bilang “GREATEST STALKER”.
At dahil sa kapansin- pansing pagsunod sa akin ng langit, di ko maiwasang tingnan at titigan ito. Napapansin kong ito’y nagpapalit- kulay. Mula sa asul, nagiging kulay rosas… Kung minsan rin naman nakakagulat na bigla- bigla itong magiging kulay kahel at pula. Parang gusto nitong sabihin sa akin na may paparating na panganib. Nakakatuwa. Mawalan man ako ng mga taong kaibigan, alam kong nariyan ang buwan, langit at mga bituin para ako’y damayan. Hindi man nila ako nkakasama ng tuwiran, alam nila kung gaano ako kasaya makita ko lang sila…
Sabi nga sa nabasa kong libro, “Tumingala ka lang sa langit para guminhawa ang pakiramdam mo.” Totoo… Sa tuwing nalulungkot ako, tinitingnan ko ang langit at nagbubuntong hininga… Subukan mo. Nakakapatid-pagod at nakakagaan ng loob.
my greatest desperations
August 9, 2008Mga pinaka-inaasam-asam kong gawin sa buong buhay ko, ngunit hindi pa rin ako binibigyan ng tadhana ng pagkakataong gawin ang mga bagay na gustong- gusto kong gawin. Para bang pinipilit mong pumasok sa nakakandadong pinto. Parang ganun. Pero parang lang ha… Minsan kasi, pwede mo namang susian, kung nakakandado nga. di ba? Kaya naman, hindi pa rin ako mawawalan ng pag-asa. Bata pa naman ako eh, at tska cute. Matagal tagal pa akong mabubuhay dito sa earth para…
- …matutunang i-piano ang D Canon. Yung tipong hindi tinitingnan yung tiklada ng piano, tska with matching pa-emote-emote habang tinutugtog yun. Hanep! Astig! Gusto ko iyon!
- …makapunta sa suspender cables ng malaking bridge at magpapicture…ung senti look…yung tipong ‘pasan ko ang mundo’ na drama.
- …magbenta ng lobo sa Luneta Park… Hindi ko pagbebentahan ang mga bumibili ng pulang lobo. Pula lang ang ititinda kong lobo. Bahala sila.
- …magpanggap na grasa sa may bandang Vito Cruz tapos sumakay sa lrt ng hindi bumibili ng card. Paano makakasakay sa lrt ba ‘ka mo? eh di lumsot. sus maryanong garapon!
- …kantahin ang ‘I don’t want to miss a thing’ sa Big Dome ng alas dos y media ng umaga, ‘Don’t know why’ ng alas doce ng tanghali, at ‘It ends tonight’ ng alas otso ng gabi.
- …makaimbento ng portal o warpzone… yung katulad sa online games… yung katulad sa…ewan! basta portal. yung parang kay mahiwagang takure.
- …makipagbarilan ng water gun sa mga mafia, kung ayaw nila kay Mojacko na lang.
- …makatawid sa Abbey Road habang kinakanta ang Penny Lane…at slow motion pa.
- …magkaroon ng alagang octopus. yung kulay pink… pag walang pink, red.. pag walang red, wag na lang! kainin ko na lang yun! tapos habang kinakain ay kakantahin ko ang Octopus’s Garden.
Kwentong Elyen
August 8, 2008Isang araw may nakasabay akong Kano sa elevator. Pareho kaming sa ground floor ang destinasyon. Pero bago makarating ng ground floor, sa 4th floor ay nagstop-over ang elevator…bumukas ito. Isang Pilipino ang nagtanong, “BABABA BA??” Sagot ko, “BABABA”. Sabi ng amerikano, “ARE YOU ALIENS?”
Natawa naman ako. Lumalaganap na talaga ang ka-elyenan sa mundo. Hindi lang si rimewire ang elyen. Maaaring ang katabi mo ay elyen. Yung nasa likod mo ay elyen. Hindi natin alam. Hindi nga kaya lahat tayo ay elyen? Ikaw, ako, sila, tayong lahat? Maaari. ELYEN TAYO! Elyen! Berde ang dugo nating lahat. Elyens tayong lahat! *blerrr.blerrr*